THE MOVING ON PROCEDURE

I have posted this over Facebook several weeks ago and am a bit hesitant to share this here where it's more ummmm . . .  public.

And to think that I know for a fact I've a bigger audience - and more interactive ones too -- over Facebook, I still think there's more supposed danger here where the whole world can just grab your words and claim them as their own. YIKES!

I have written a lot of things since I was very very young but have not actually started a book. Or anything that resembles a book even. This is something I'd like to venture to as a way to test if I could actually - truly -- finish one, be it less than 5 chapters or more than 20.

So I am getting out of comfort zone and committing to this new challenge, ambitious as it may seem for an amateur like me.

ENJOY AND LEARN!



THE MOVING ON PROCEDURE
a book (or an attempt) by Audrey Tecson Gozon

Now is a bit of an odd time to be writing about moving on and breakups when I’ve just started a new, and exciting, chapter of my life in the very opposite direction.


But as a product of late night chatting with a good friend of mine over Viber, let’s call her Apple, we came up with this silly idea about gathering our best practices from our own personal experiences in this area of life we often need the most help with – MOVING ON.


True, this might not be an original idea. What with millions of breakup books worldwide and internet sites teaching us how best to forget your ex. Put on top of that other materials aiming to show us the best way to dust yourself off and try again.


I am hardly the authority for this subject but I have too often find myself saying “If only I could lend you my moving on skills, I would!” that I think it’s worth a try to share what I have learned and accomplished in the breakup department.



The Title

I thought “How To Get Over Your Ex in Two Weeks” was a good title but Apple made a good point that most advices, no matter how good, can’t be applied with a strict timeline.


I came up with that title because that’s the average duration of my moving on process. It’s not like I forget the guy, no matter how short the relationship was, it’s just that I’m too vain to indulge myself in the pool of sadness for one person. Yes, that’s how my mind works. What, you want to borrow my brains now?


Calling it a PROCEDURE makes more sense. Because it’s really an ongoing thing you have to work on. Right, time heals all wounds, but there’s definitely quite a bit of a few things you can do to speed up the process. For women who are especially poor in this area, who keeps going back to square one (who keeps creating a square one when it’s clear there’s no more square in the first place!) this book is for you.


We can’t also reduce it to just getting over an ex, because there could be many aspects in that relationship you need moving on from. If you’ve been close to his family and friends, it becomes tricky to stay friends with them when you are just trying to avoid your ex. If you’ve lived together, you have to face the challenge of changing your lifestyle a bit with the new living situation. If you’ve had pets, share a car, have kids (gulp), work together, have a joint business, been engaged, bought tickets to a trip, made huge plans for next Christmas – okay whatever! You get the idea.


It’s not solely about getting over your ex – it’s THE MOVING ON PROCEDURE.


Two of the books that inspired me to write my own:

Solenn Heussaff and Georgina Wilson's BESTIES

Bianca Gonzalez-Intal's PAANO BA 'TO?! 

Start over again, start over again, but this time, this time let's do it right.

Here's to hoping I get it right this time. And frankly, even if I won't, it will be worth it.

I am so fed up with the hesitation.

The scary "What if it won't work?" thought and being stuck on the same ground.

Starting over again always fills me with mild exhaustion at the possibility of going through the same moving on process I proudly claim I have graduated with colors from. Just because most of what I've started in this "department" had the same ending.

Well . .  ENDED - is more appropriate of a term to use in this case.

I have too often allowed myself to think I will never change, or that I have been a victim of circumstance a little too often that I have made sure years have passed before I will test the waters again.

And now, almost 4 years later, I believe I am more resilient, forgiving and definitely more generous to share what I have with somebody I could just as well lose as the others.

I just want to rest easy on the fact that I will do things I have not done before, and won't give myself any reason to doubt my capabilities no matter where this leads me.


LET'S DO THIS!!

My First LDR

I recall the unfriending, refriending, all the hurt and all the severe emotions. Man, we were nuts. 

I recall how much I feel for you and your past hurts that I am dumbfounded its possible to care so much about what another person has been through. Yes, even if none of those experiences included you in it. 

That was when I knew, I've already become human.

A breathing, pulsating individual capable of caring and feeling strong emotions and entertaining the thought that some days I can be weak. And though it never worked, I'm glad you were part of my before.

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Today I pondered on the realization that I am such a different person now than I was 5 or so years ago. Yet I remain me . . .  Because I really don't know how to be anyone else.

Of course there are choices. What when you are meeting someone for the very first time, you wonder to yourself  "Hmmm . . . what am I going to be like for this person?" You are there making choices as to what part of yourself you are willing to share.

But always so, I revert to what I truly am and discard all previous notions of showing just parts. 

That's why I think it's so important to like yourself. We all know the basics of loving thyself and blah blah blah, but I think more importantly: YOU SHOULD LIKE YOURSELF TOO!

I recall I didn't like who I was before. 

I don't want to be her anymore. 

Maybe that's why there are huge portions of that phase I have trouble remembering because, surprise, I don't care to!

Well I like who I am now. And this person I intend to keep.

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All those mindless, useless emotions . .  all for the sake of feeling alive.

When being alive truly means you are doing what you love, and more so, when you love what you are doing.

I have been told that the love of your life will come when you are amidst doing your passion. When you are happy with yourself. When you are the YOU you want to become,

I say this is subject to debate. Well, just like everything else - I guess. But I have certain faith in that thought. That when I've reached a certain level of content in my life, for the things I have done for myself and others that made me happy, I will find the person I can see myself spending the rest of my life with.