My First LDR

I recall the unfriending, refriending, all the hurt and all the severe emotions. Man, we were nuts. 

I recall how much I feel for you and your past hurts that I am dumbfounded its possible to care so much about what another person has been through. Yes, even if none of those experiences included you in it. 

That was when I knew, I've already become human.

A breathing, pulsating individual capable of caring and feeling strong emotions and entertaining the thought that some days I can be weak. And though it never worked, I'm glad you were part of my before.

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Today I pondered on the realization that I am such a different person now than I was 5 or so years ago. Yet I remain me . . .  Because I really don't know how to be anyone else.

Of course there are choices. What when you are meeting someone for the very first time, you wonder to yourself  "Hmmm . . . what am I going to be like for this person?" You are there making choices as to what part of yourself you are willing to share.

But always so, I revert to what I truly am and discard all previous notions of showing just parts. 

That's why I think it's so important to like yourself. We all know the basics of loving thyself and blah blah blah, but I think more importantly: YOU SHOULD LIKE YOURSELF TOO!

I recall I didn't like who I was before. 

I don't want to be her anymore. 

Maybe that's why there are huge portions of that phase I have trouble remembering because, surprise, I don't care to!

Well I like who I am now. And this person I intend to keep.

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All those mindless, useless emotions . .  all for the sake of feeling alive.

When being alive truly means you are doing what you love, and more so, when you love what you are doing.

I have been told that the love of your life will come when you are amidst doing your passion. When you are happy with yourself. When you are the YOU you want to become,

I say this is subject to debate. Well, just like everything else - I guess. But I have certain faith in that thought. That when I've reached a certain level of content in my life, for the things I have done for myself and others that made me happy, I will find the person I can see myself spending the rest of my life with.